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Saturday, December 10, 2011

Donkey Kong....or Donkey Call?

On the heels of the big year-end tournament win by the common man.......I find myself still pondering back-back calls by Mad Mike and Stuie. Blinds are 50/100 and in dealer position, I fire out 600 chips pre-flop sitting on pocket Jacks. Mad Mike calls with A/2 offsuit.......huh? Stuie claims he knew Mike had an Ace, but calls with A/4 offsuit....what? An argument could be made that he was priced in.. If he truly thought that Mike had an Ace though.....did he really feel confident his 4 would hold up? Pre-flop odds put Mike at 7.14% to win....Stuie at 9.44%.....and Negreanu at 72.7%. Naturally an Ace hits the board and Negreanu is tilted by the questionable play. Donkey Calls..................

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Drama Free Scheduling

From hereon out, all Friday Night and/or weekend games need to be scheduled in advance, with firm commitments in hand by Thursday nights.

No more last minute logistical nightmares, no more 11th hour flurry of frantic/confusing/contradictory phone calls, and no more bullshit claiming players are all lined up & ready to go, when they haven't even been contacted yet.  No more drama.

Period.

We ought to be able to schedule games enough in advance to avoid all the drama.  So please do it.  If the game hasn't been announced earlier in the week, and at least five or six are committed by Thursday evening, just count me out.

*****
As an aside:

I've been pretty clear, I think, in stating that I'm not particularly interested in playing short-handed games with 4 or fewer players at the table. And even five is a bit thin... 5 is the bare minimum, more would be preferred.

I absolutely hate it when I commit to a game, with the understanding that we absolutely have at least the bare minimum number (5) in hand... only to show up to find there's only three of us playing, and begging for late arrivals. Please don't bullshit me anymore with phony head counts when asking me if I'm in or not... if it happens again, I'm just not going to play anymore.

I also absolutely hate it when I choose to not play, and get a barrage of friggin' phone calls trying to talk me into playing anyway. When I say 'No', I mean 'No', and pushing me to change my mind is only going to piss me off.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Raymer Crushes the Field

Woe be to pseudoStuie:  No matter how much he tries to pretend otherwise, he just can't shake Raymer...

The co-contender for Player of the Year, Raymer, dominated once again at a 5-handed tourney-style game at Kelly's basement on Sunday night during the Pats stompfest over the Jets.  Raymer took out every single other player on the felt.

And he did it with true Hold 'Em savvy like:
  • slow-playing consecutive trip hands on boards that flopped lots of high paint... or
  • using position to over-bet marginal hands to get Steve to lay down potential winners in the blind...  or
  • bluffing from out of position to get Rebecca to lay down winners on big pots...

NOT by making donkey plays like calling dual all-ins on an A-K-10 flop only holding a pair of Deuces (but somehow still catching running-runner quads)...  NOR by inflating chip stacks from head's up showdowns against even bigger donkeys who continue to believe in mystical 'wrap-around' straights! 

Message from the Poker Gods to pseudoStuie:  Blind luck is not valid strategy. 

[Untreated foot odor, however, might just be the ultimate strategy, LMAO!]

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Another Night....but no Raymer?

The 11/11 game this week contained a mere five players, but nonetheless, fireworks emerged. After being brutally beaten down by Negreanu early, Stuie came roaring back to eliminate both the mad russian and Mike in a three-way all in. Granted Stuie was ahead in chips, but called the all-in raise with pocket deuces and paint all over the board............ONLY TO HIT RUNNER RUNNER DEUCES AND MAKE QUADS! Ridiculous...yes.....absurd...absolutely. For a brief moment I feared Stuie would be leaving Scarborough in the back of a Lincoln......

Negreanu continues a strong string with a 1st, 3rd, 2nd, and 2nd in four consecutive games....proving he is indeed back.

Raymer went postal upon hearing of Stuie's win, blaming the world for being unable to take him out, while all along he was sitting at home......? Was it the weather? Was he simply not feeling the urge to play tonight? Or was it likely Raymer had planned to stay home, in hopes that cinemax would be offering a free weekend on cable.............alas it was the latter. Raymer was interrupted during the "climax" of his weekend, simultaneously by the phone call from Stuie and Negreanu, as well as a surprising end to the movie the Crying Game that he was very much enjoying up until that point......

Monday, November 7, 2011

And Now It's Down to None...

Following on the heels of his Man Cave tourney victory on Friday night (the Plan B when Paulie WalNuts' Higgins Beach event fell through), Raymer added a cash game victory on Sunday night at Kelly's basement following the Pat's miserable loss to the G-Men.

Which means:  Raymer is now tied with pseudoStuie for season victories. 
It's all coming down to the wire, with perhaps the end o' season Tournament of Champions being the deciding event.

Me thinks pseudoStuie hath counteth his chickens to soon.

Three, count 'em three (3), victories in the last two weekends.
Not bad for a guy that pseudoStuie had declared all but on tilt.

Rebecca forgot her princess seat, and got violated on the river when a second pair on the board voided her 6-6 and gave Raymer the all-in pot with his A high kicker.  In hindsight, Raymer put the wood to Rebecca several times, making her rebuy twice... and still sending her home without the kids' lunch money.  So sad...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Raymer Rules in the Man Cave... Again!

For reasons unknown and unknowable, the Higgins Beach Hold Em Ho Down gets cancelled... but a spur-of-the-moment make-up game at the Man Cave gets 8 to show up? 

WTF???

Out of spite, Raymer decided to bring his A game, and pulled off an unlikely win in Game 1, chopping the pot with Natiq, the Mad Russian (or 'Sputnik' as Rodney, the newbie from Seattle, calls him).

Down to about only a quarter stack after the first hand - thanks to overplaying second pair to the Tank Commander's top pair - Raymer tightened up and got healthy again with hands that left Noodles (a/k/a the Artist Formerly Known as Joey) shouting "F#ck you! F%ck you!",   Noodles should have remembered that Pocket Kowboys almost never stand up, especially against multiple opponents (and especially when Raymer is on a roll & sitting to his left).

Setting an early tight table image helped Raymer later in the game, convincing hangers-on to bow out after Raymer's aggressive bets on the flop caused them to fold hands that could have earned them big pots on brutal suck-outs. It also helped sell a couple of slow play set-ups, once with Pocket Rockets that stood up (against Starvin' Marvin or Rodney?) and a second time with a Trip set of Twos on the turn that earned a triple up. 

The lay down of the night - from yours truly's perspective, anyway - came in a huge 4-way pot, when George "Oh My!" Takei made an over-the-top all-in re-raise of 1,575 post-flop on a board of J-10-9 [with 2 of the same suit] over Noodle's 400 chip bet.  The Mad Russian snap-called, building a pot close to 5,000!

When the flop came out, Raymer (re-named The Professor by Rodney for the evening) was initially loving his hand - K-J suited ['tho not four to the flush] - but Starvin' Marvin's aggression & Natiq's snap call caused a re-think.  Normally, top pair and a gut draw to the nut straight would have Raymer making the do-or-die call.  But with an original bet, Marvin's all-in re-raise and Natiq's snap call already in front & another potential two callers still behind, something smelled rotten in Denmark.  pseudoStuie was making noises like he was considering calling with something like A-J, and somebody had to be four to the flush [probably Noodles, who loves to chase and doesn't seem to recollect the damage done by doing so].  Marvin, who knows: could be pure bluff, or maybe top pair with a weak kicker, maybe straight & flush draws?  The Tank Commander I figured had paired the board and was drawing open-ended; if a Q hit on the turn or river, I would crush him with a higher straight.  Too much danger, too much at risk, Raymer reluctantly laid it down and avoided devastation.

Natiq rebought and came back to take a dominant chip lead, leading 3 or 4 -to- 1 late in the game.  pseudoStuie somehow eked out a 3rd place cash (net -10, as he had to rebuy on credit from Natiq).  But in head's up play Raymer took charge, and grabbed a 50% advantage on the strength of one power bluff on the river and a bit of a run of strong hole cards... before the peanut gallery pressured for the chop.

Your lead is down to 2 wins, pseudoStuie...  do you hear the footsteps?
[Correction:  It's actually down to 1 win!]

Somewhere in Kennebunkport, Noodles is mumbling about all the hands he can't believe he lost with... maybe he'll share an update in a comment hereto?

Check Raise

After an exhausting span of several months where I was only able to capture an occasional 2nd or 3rd, it was nice to roar back with a first and third plase in successive weeks. Admittedly, I was able to catch some cards and watch Raymer have a mild heart attack when his all in was met with an abrupt quad-Ace ending.

The most interesting piece as of late however, is the deafening silence coming from the land of Stuieville.......After heading into the final table several weeks ago with a monster chip stack, Stuie found himself repeatedly violated hand after hand. Rumor has it he remained quivering with a cold sweat in the corner of his garage for days after...............

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Paulie WalNuts to Host Higgins Beach Hold 'Em Ho Down

For a change of pace, Paulie WalNuts is hosting this week’s game($30 buy-in, tourney style w/ full stack rebuy in the 1st hour) Friday Night, 8:00pm sharp at his secluded palatial Higgins Beach estate:

10 Kelly Lane
Higgins Beach (Scarborough)

Directions: 
  • US Route 1 to the Black Point Road (Rt 207)… i.e., the Oak Hill intersection in Scarborough where an Amato’s sits
  • Approx. 3 mi. along the Black Point Rd/Rt. 207, turn left onto Spurwink Rd (Rt 77)…
  • Approx. 1.25 miles along Spurwink/Rt. 77, turn right onto Ocean Ave. (this is the entrance road to Higgins Beach area)…
  • Approx. ¼ mi. turn right onto Kelly Lane (it’s the third major street on your right as you drive down Ocean Ave.)… If you pass Garofalo’s Restaurant on Ocean Ave., you’ve just missed the turn…
  • Look for #10 Kelly Lane (a Duplex Condo;  parking on the left side of driveway, no parking on street allowed)


Unfortunately, Google maps doesn’t label Kelly Lane correctly, but here’s a link that should get you close enough:  http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl 

In the search box for this Google map page, enter the following coordinates:  43.561813,-70.282867

If you play around with the Google maps tools long enough, you can get a street view of where Ocean Ave. joins Kelly Lane

Friday, October 28, 2011

Quad Aces, Nut Flush Double Knockout Gives Chatty Cathy EarlyChip Lead... But Sputters Out; Paulie Walnuts Wins Without Getting Better Than Trips

Odie the Rag-Player is playing tight early on:  Caught top 2 pair (A's & Q's) on the flop on only the third hand, with Raymer open-ended & four-to-the flush.  Odie raises, but only a gentle 150;  Raymer re-pops it to 300.

Raymes straightens on the turn & bets it hard (300);  Odie just smooth calls.  Raymer is certain the RagMan is holding an A + Rag... How does he extract maximum value? 

Another Ace on the river, and Raymer excitedly believes Odie's just tripped and is all set-up for Rayme's hidden straight.  Another big bet (500), and the RagMan just calls.  Raymer calls the straight triumphantly and stands to rake chips, when Odie smirks and shows the Full Boat.  Why didn't he raise me, at least on the river, if not the turn?

Sh!t!  There goes half of Raymer's stack...

"Hard Luck" Lycette brought a couple new guys to the game, Phil and Tom.  Phil made some early moves and had a bit of stack to work with, but got crushed and had to rebuy very early.  It pays off:  Phil quickly rebuilds a competitive stack with some nice calls with 2nd pair, and at least two clear bluffs (which he never shows).  Tom plays solid throughout, but seems to have a blindspot when it comes to Phil.

Tri is playing his usual rags or riches hands:  either big hands or pure crap, nothing in-between.

Chatty Cathy's got his/her shades out, and keeps telling us he'll show his cards if we lay down.

Paulie WalNuts and Joey are strangely quiet, flying under the radar.


@ roughly 10:10 pm:

Chatty Cathy caught Raymer with his pants down with a low chip stack, early position all-in bluff on a A-A-9 flop, hoping noone was holding an A - Chatty Cathy was holding Bullets.

Raymer had to rebuy. 

First hand back, before he even got to deal, Raymes made an equally bad read holding Q-10 with a K-K-10 flop in a 3-way where both the Chatty One and his late-arriving friend, Jeff, were holding a K. Raymes made a bet, got called by both, and then went all-in again on the turn - 9 - and got called by both.  Giggling, Kelly caught the nut flush club on the river to beat Jeff's better K-9 kicker.  Chatty was up to roughly 13K chips, out of 24K (54%).

Double-Sh!t!

Though he may not have said so out loud, the Yakkety-Yakker was, deep inside, thinking exactly this:


Raymer needs to re-evaluate & revamp his game:  Maximizing his losses and minimizing his wins is no way to build the bankroll.  Everyone calls his bluffs, and lays down when he's got a power hand. 

Maybe massive quantities of Herradura Anejo Tequila would make him less predictable?

Update: 10:42 pm
Somebody hid an A under his iPhone...  couldn't see who because the harsh glare of Kelly's basement lighting reflected blindingly off his dome.  Perhaps we'll cut him some slack, as he always brings the gooey donuts.

But Karma is a bitch:  He finished out of the money.



The End @ 11:30 pm
Chatty Cathy promptly blew his early chip stack with questionable weak bluffs & calls.  Not to mention the missed opportunities...  laying down 5-7 suited pre-flop with family pot limpers ahead & only the big blind left to check the option?  C'mon man, take a flyer & limp in, too:  that 7-7-Q flop sure looks good right now.  LMAO.

Tom has played solid, but again misreads his buddy Phil and finishes out of the money.

And Paulie WalNuts has somehow amassed a sizable chip lead over everyone.  Can anyone recall him getting anything better than trips all night?

And now it's Game Over: 

Kelly manages to hold on long enough to outlast Tom to finish 3rd (40 points, up 20 for the night).

Phil makes a valiant effort, but cannot overcome Paulie's 8-to-1 chip stack lead, especially with blinds of 800-1600.  Phil takes 2nd (80, +40)...

... and Paulie WalNuts wins 1st (140, +120), quietly.  Nice.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

No Game Tonight... What A Bunch of Pussies!

Apparently no one likes Brett's last-minute organizing efforts... so, I'm giving Raymer a phantom win just for committing early... LOL

In the meantime:

Still trying to figure out a schedule for the rest of the season, so we don't have all the logitical confusion.  So I lied last post when I said next up is the schedule... so sue me.

While we're waiting here's a video of one of my all-time favorite hands, featuring Jennifer Harman:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiF-Cz-dYeI


But, on second thought, I might like this one even more -- if only because someone blurts "I Love Raymer" in the background:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FB9CW1HRjA

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

pseudoStuie Silenced By Sordid Suckout Streak

Proving once again that catching cards is no substitute for actual skill, pseudoStuie has been shut out for three weeks in  a row now, and the ceaseless narcissistic phone call taunts have... well... ceased.

Ain't it great?!?

Raymer remains only three - count 'em, 3 - wins behind the self-stroking one's season lead.
Claims on the season championship are premature.
[Much like pseudoStuie's ejaculatory control.]

Next post:  Upcoming Game Schedule for the remainder of the season.